The NFL teams hiding behind their records, plus an incredible streak snapped

We are nearly through Week 12 in the NFL, which means we are just past the contender-pretender zone and approaching playoff seeding territory. Which leaves one thing to evaluate in this liminal space: trust. 

It was a chaotic Sunday of football, where records didn’t seem to matter much on the field. The standings are what they are, but what do these teams actually look like right now? I want to be more informed about a team’s near future than its past. 

Time to read some tea leaves and give out Pulse Records in our newsletter 8-ball: 

1. Eagles
Actual record: 9-2
Pulse record: 9-2

We start with stability, and the most recent news of yesterday’s slate. Philadelphia’s 37-20 blowout road win over the Rams makes it one of the league’s most trustworthy teams in my eyes, which is remarkable considering how poorly this team started the year. The defense is great, the offense is good enough and outside of Detroit, I don’t know who’s stopping the Birds right now. Saquon Barkley (255 yards rushing yesterday) should be in the MVP conversation. 

2. Lions
Actual record: 10-1
Pulse record: 11-0

Let’s be brief: This is the best team in the NFL. Barring injury, the Lions should be favored in every game going forward, all the way to the Super Bowl if the football gods deem them worthy. A 24-6 win against the Colts yesterday wasn’t flashy, but no seeds of doubt fell into the proverbial soil. 

3. Chiefs
Actual record: 10-1
Pulse record: 7-4

Let’s start throwing shade. Kansas City was lucky to beat the lowly Panthers yesterday, emerging victorious on a game-winning field goal as time expired. Eight of the Chiefs’ 10 wins have come by a single score. If this wasn’t Patrick Mahomes, I’d be spray-painting “FRAUD” on the walls of the team facility. The players seem to know the truth, too. 

4. 49ers
Actual record: 5-6
Pulse record: 5-6

Yes, the preseason NFC favorites are just not good right now. A 38-10 shellacking in Green Bay cemented their reality, as even Christian McCaffrey can’t cover up flaws. San Francisco might not make the playoffs. Woof. 

5. Texans
Actual record: 7-5
Pulse record: 5-7

If this crew played in a decent division, we’d be talking about a failed season right now — a notion bolstered by yesterday’s 32-27 loss to the lowly Titans. Houston entered the year as a dark horse title favorite and has largely fallen flat. Yes, the Texans will win the AFC South and make the playoffs. But unless something changes, it’s an early exit. 

6. Commanders
Actual record: 7-5
Pulse record: 6-6

A sizzling start has fizzled for Dan Quinn, Kliff Kingsbury and Jayden Daniels. We’ll talk about the wild ending shortly, but Washington’s collapse must be emphasized. Daniels has regressed and the offense has gone stale. The Commanders probably shouldn’t have even been close to winning against the, ahem, Cooper Rush-led Cowboys, but then the following things happened: 

• 3:02 left: KaVonte Turpin turned a muffed kickoff return into a spectacular 99-yard return for a TD. Scroll down for the GIF. 
• 1:44: Austin Seibert makes a 51-yard field goal. 
• 0:33: Daniels hits Terry McLaurin for an incredible 86-yard touchdown. Seibert misses the extra point, which would’ve tied the game at 27. 
• 0:14: Juanyeh Thomas returns an onside kick 43 yards for a touchdown. 

Whew. Chaos. The fourth quarter featured 41 points, and Washington still ended up losing 34-26. Here’s that Turpin turn of events:

99 YARDS TO THE 🏡@KaVontaeTurpin was gone!!

📺: #DALvsWAS on FOX
📲: Stream on NFL+ https://t.co/LvklCbYJ1e pic.twitter.com/4ckMWDEDPL

— Dallas Cowboys (@dallascowboys) November 24, 2024

We missed plenty of Sunday’s stacked slate. See full takeaways here.