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Nothing was off limits during last night’s roast of Tom Brady, “not to be confused with the roast of Bill Belichick on the 10-part Apple TV series,” as the coach himself put it.
In today’s newsletter, we cover the best lines from the roast, as well as:
- 📹 Rookie minicamp learnings
- 🌴 Odell heads to Miami
- 👀 Four UDFAs to watch
Best Lines from Tom Brady’s Roast
Last night, comedians and former teammates joked about Tom Brady, live and uncensored on Netflix. We heard plenty of comments on Brady’s looks, ex-wife Gisele, family life, diet and cheating scandals. The most touchy subject? Robert Kraft’s massages.
If you missed it, Chad Graff summarized it well. I also recommend you watch it on Netflix.
Best lines?
- “You’re an example to future generations that if you work hard, eat right, film the other teams’ practices, deflate the balls and have the NFL make new rules just for you, then you too can be the third-most famous guy in a Dunkin Donuts commercial,” said comedian Jeff Ross.
- “When you have a chance to go 8-9, and all it will cost you are your wife and kids, you gotta do what you gotta do,” said Kevin Hart, referring to Brady’s final season after the ultimatum Gisele was rumored to have given him, to retire or split.
- “Drew Bled– … so Tom could run,” said comedian Nikki Glaser, who received a well-deserved standing ovation at the end of her set. Nikki, we were not familiar with your game.
- “I’m trying to buy a piece of the Raiders, I’m tired of owning just the Colts and the Bills,” said Brady during his closing.
- He also said, “The NFL spent $20 million and found it was more probable than not that I was generally aware that someone may have deflated my footballs. You could have just given me the $20 million, and I would’ve told you I f—king did it.” (At the time, he’d publicly said, “I didn’t alter the balls in any way.”)
Participants also included Pats figures Randy Moss, Rob Gronkowski, Julian Edelman and Robert Kraft, plus Peyton Manning, Kim Kardashian and Ben Affleck. If you skip Affleck, it’s all hilarious.
Rookie Minicamp: Early learnings
On either the first or second weekend following the draft, each team holds a rookie minicamp with drafted rookies, undrafted free agent signings and tryout players who participate in drills, practices and meet with local media.
The numbers of attendees are often surprisingly high (the Chiefs had 74 players attend). For some, it’s a chance to make the team. For Travis Kelce, it’s a period of “chaos.”
The Packers, Ravens, Chiefs, Jets, Eagles and Seahawks all held their minicamp this weekend. Here’s what we’ve learned so far:
- Chiefs WR Xavier Worthy worked as outside receiver, slot receiver and punt returner. He also mentioned the similarities between the Chiefs’ system and his college playbook at Texas. He doesn’t think his weight, 169 pounds, will impact his production in the NFL.
- Seahawks DT Byron Murphy II was “as advertised,” according to HC Mike Macdonald, who added that Seattle’s first-round pick “need[s] to get in a little bit better shape.” Macdonald’s bluntness is one similarity between the Pete Carroll era and the new-look Seahawks.
- Ravens CB Nate Wiggins “carries himself and plays like a veteran corner,” per fellow rookie Devontez Walker. Wiggins, a first-round pick, brings 4.28 speed to the Ravens’ secondary and is expected to slot as CB3 behind Marlon Humphrey and Brandon Stephens in a strong cornerback room.
- Christian Watson missed eight games due to multiple hamstring injuries last season, but expect fewer soft-tissue injuries in Green Bay next season. The Packers reorganized their warmups to accommodate for different positions (finally!?).
The remaining teams will host their minicamps next weekend. Up next, Dianna has more on another team camp, plus word from a retired legend.
What Dianna’s Hearing: Veterans in Philly, Houston?
Rookie mini-camp is all about the new guys finding ways to jell, learn the tempo of the NFL and discover the culture of their new teams.
Luckily for the Eagles’ rookies, they have a couple extra coaches on hand. WR A.J. Brown was on the field watching the receivers work, and another recent recipient of a three-year contract extension, OT Jordan Mailata, was in meeting rooms covering offensive line protections. Anything to help the rookies speed along before the start of OTAs in less two weeks.
In Houston, J.J. Watt told reporters he would be willing to come out of retirement if the Texans needed him back this season. If the Texans “absolutely need it,” Watt is willing to return, but based on the type of roster that both GM Nick Caserio and HC DeMeco Ryans have built, they shouldn’t need to dial up Watt, who hasn’t played since 2022.
Back to you, Jacob.
Back again: Odell Beckham Jr. in Miami
On Friday, it was confirmed that Odell Beckham Jr. is expected to sign with the Dolphins on a one-year contract worth up to $8.25M, reportedly less than what he was offered by other teams.
Beckham, 31, started his career with three consecutive Pro Bowl nods from 2014 to 2016 but has not made one since. Last year, he joined the Ravens after a one-year hiatus and posted 565 receiving yards (his highest total since 2019), averaging 40.4 yards per game. He was revered for his locker-room presence.
In Miami, he is expected to compete for the Dolphins’ No. 3 option behind Tyreek Hill and Jaylen Waddle. While Beckham isn’t the player he once was, he should beat out Braxton Berrios, River Cracraft, Erik Ezukanma and rookies Malik Washington and Tahj Washington.
Undrafted Free Agents: Next Alvin Kamara?
UDFA signings are easy to overlook, but based on the long list of notable undrafted players — including QB Kurt Warner, RB Priest Holmes, WR Wes Welker, TE Antonio Gates, OT Jason Peters and K Adam Vinatieri — we shouldn’t. Here are four you should know in this year’s class:
- Broncos RB Blake Watson, one of only two RBs to record 50-plus receptions at college football’s highest level in 2023, could win the Alvin Kamara role in HC Sean Payton’s offense. Per Dane Brugler, Watson is “a slippery threat.” More on Denver’s UDFA class.
- Ravens OT Julian Pearl, a 6-foot-6, 312-pound offensive lineman who ranked as the draft’s 23rd-best tackle by Dane. More on Baltimore’s UDFA class.
- Raiders CB Ja’Quan Sheppard, who brings elite size at corner (6-2, 205 pounds) a position of need in Vegas, which had brought Sheppard in for a top-30 visit prior to the draft. More on the Raiders’ UDFA class.
- Falcons WR Isaiah Wooden, a 5-7, 176-pounder who recorded a 4.35 second 40-yard dash, is the most likely UDFA to make Atlanta’s roster. Wooden’s burst is elite — his 10-yard split was 1.38, better than Chris Johnson’s NFL combine record.
If you missed it, Nick Baumgardner and Scott Dochterman shared one UDFA to watch from each roster.
Around the NFL
Who improved most after the draft? The Athletic’s beat reporters cover all 32 teams in this morning’s article. As for the Lions, “defensive coordinator Aaron Glenn has never had a defense this talented in Detroit. He’s got the tools to compete now.”
WR Chase Claypool, the former second-round pick who is still just 25, signed with the Bills on Friday. Claypool was assigned No. 14, which had belonged to Stefon Diggs.
Former Browns RB Duke Johnson retired from the NFL after eight seasons, totaling 5,135 yards from scrimmage with four different teams.
RB Nick Chubb “still has got a long way to go, but he’s progressing nicely given this point in time,” said Browns GM Andrew Berry.
Don’t expect RB Najee Harris to sign an extension in Pittsburgh, writes Mark Kaboly in his Steelers mailbag. After the Steelers declined Harris’ fifth-year option, he’ll likely hit free agency in 2025.
Jacob’s Picks
📕 For Pro Football Hall of Famer Steve McMichael, who is battling ALS, “pleasure is mostly a memory,” as Dan Pompei writes. Dan shares stories on how the former Chicago Bears DT still connects with those closest to him. (The Athletic)
📺 Sumo wrestling with Micah Parsons and C.J. Stroud. Yes, you read that right. (Reddit)
🎙 Play dynasty fantasy football? This mock draft podcast is valuable listening, especially for those in superflex TE-premium leagues. J.J. McCarthy goes fourth among rookies, before Drake Maye. (Dynasty Nerds)
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