Welcome back to Cover Snark!
From Pam G: There is a lot to see here, including wind machines in space. However, our hero has solved it with a plait! According to the Goog, this is called a Dutch braid–so, all business in the front, salon day in the back. Though, to be honest, I am more reminded of the Rat King in The Amazing Maurice and his Educated Rats, as that is exactly how I pictured it.
Sarah: That braid is a challah. I wish my braided loaves looked so good.
Amanda: If he did it himself, that’s impressive.
Sarah: So here’s a little behind the scenes from SBTB HQ. We have an internal Slack with a channel just for cover snark (yes, it is glorious). So sometimes I’ll see a cover or drop one in the channel, and comment, and then my brain lets go of the image. Then, when it’s time to COVER SNARK ASSEMBLE, Amanda makes a Google doc to harvest all the comments from the group.
I just opened the doc and said to myself, “He has a challah on his shoulder!”
Completely forgetting that I had said the EXACT same thing when the cover was posted.
All that to say: I stand by my comment. That’s a challah.
Sneezy: It’s depressing how long it’s been since I had a challah. I used to finish an entire loaf myself, usually in one sitting. The first time was an impulse buy, and I felt sooooo guilty I bought such a large piece of bread for myself. And then I was soooo confused and sad because WHERE DID IT ALL GO?????
Anyway, someone tell the girlie it’s okay to tell your partner to shower before cuddles. She looks like she’s doing that thing where you’re trying to be supportive but can’t QUITE commit to slathering yourself on top of all that grease.
From Karen H: The Outlands Demon might deserve a mention in Cover Snark for a Photoshop Fail. I say this because I thought something was wrong with the man’s outfit even from the thumbnail view. From the larger view, it’s even more obvious that the top was pasted on since his shoulder is showing along the edge.
Sarah: The pasted on leather vest is SO DISTRACTING. The dress and hair on the model are fine, the backdrop is interesting, and then my eye gets stuck on, WHAT is with the JACKET ?!
Elyse: He’s trying to get his smoky eye makeup right and failing.
Sarah: That’s what happens when I try that look, too. Starts migrating all over my face in 5 minutes or less.
Elyse: You need a good primer. I like the one from Urban Decay. Maybe he needs a trip to Sephora.
What if the demon IS the jacket?
Sarah: oh NO and it’s wrapped around his soul, and most of his shoulder?
Susan: I think it’s growing out of his shoulder, based on the perfectly smooth line between it and his arm.
Maybe it’s his chitinous exoskeleton, it means he’s a healthy adult.
Sneezy: Maybe he’s in the middle of regrowing it after most of it got dinged up in a fight. Or maybe parasites got the old one. Do you think he sheds? Is he theoretically immortal like lobsters?
Amanda: I keep pronouncing it like Dr. Ob, Dr. Oz’s brother.
Sarah: Agreed. Doctor Ob is likely cousin to the very popular Dr Abs.
Shana: So, my brain just skipped over the period entirely and read this as DroB. Which feels more like an alien romance than a lazy Saturday in bed. Does he have tentacles below the waist?
Sneezy: And that’s how you saved this cover for me, Shana. Tentacles for the win!
From Linnea: What’s with the armpit?
Sarah: I do not understand this pose. Or more specifically, I don’t know what it’s trying to communicate other than “underarm here and now think about deodorant?”
Shana: He doesn’t even look happy to be sniffing his armpit.
Sarah: Finding an antiperspirant or deodorant that works and doesn’t cause rashes or itching can be such a drag, so clearly he’s having a time of it.
Elyse: The ad for his new deodorant deceived him.
Sarah: I wonder if there are more “casually sniffing the armpit” poses on covers or if “looking down at the crotch area” poses are more bountiful.
Sneezy: And you’ve got me wondering if the quantity and ratio is the same in illustrated vs ‘realistic’ covers. Academic questions aside, he looks like a Wonderwall guy. 🙁 0/10
