Cover Snark: Faceless Horrors

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Welcome back to Cover Snark!

Insta Boyfriend by Jen Atkinson. An illustrated cover of a man and woman standing in a clearing in a forest. However, their faces have no features - no eyes, noses, or mouths. There's a shaggy little dog between them, who does have facial features

From PamG: Soooo creeeepy.

Sarah: I very very very dislike the faceless illustrated covers. Gives me the creepys. The DOG has a face, for crying out loud.

Elyse: Aside from missing faces, she looks like she’s missing a third of her lower body.

Sarah: The angle/proportion is very wrong agreed.

Amanda: I’m reminded of the Thumb guys from the Spy Kids movie.

Sarah: shudder

Sneezy: Nope. Fuck you. Yeet.

His Human Rebel by Michele Mills. A hot pick cover of a woman in a pink dress with wavy blonde hair. One arm is cross over her body and the other one is reaching up to touch her own lips. However, there's some shady on her forehead that either looks like lace from a wig or hair dye that stained her skin.

Shana: Maybe it’s just me but I am very distracted by her hairline. It looks like she left the manic panic on too long and it dyed her forehead.

Sarah: Oh gosh, that fuzzy line is very distracting in an otherwise solid cover! Looking at it makes me itchy!

Sneezy: I’m seeing this cover after several earthquakes chased me out of my room, and all the pinks and reds just look too much like lava and magma right now.

Alpha Attacked by Eve Langlais. A shirtless, dehydrated, and dirty man looks defeated in front of a giant moon and cityscape. There's a bleeding scratch mark on his pec. A black wolf lurks in the background.

From Darlynne: I know real wolves run on the lean side, but this guy needs an exorcism, because something is hiding in there.

Sarah: He’s a snack. Literally. For that wolf. He’s dinner.

He looks so…tired, poor thing.

Sneezy: Yeah, he looks so done. If I had the night he looks like he had, I’d be done too. I make the same face when I know I’ll need to wash aaaaaall my linens if I get in bed right now but just can’t scrape together the spoons to turn on the shower.

I relate to the wolves too. I make the same face when I’ve realized I walked into a shit restaurant and will be stuck paying for a TERRIBLE soup I can make EXPONENTIALLY better myself.

By Cold Moon's Night by Amanda Meuwissen. Two men - one with light skin and red hair and another with tan skin and black hair - are smoldering at the reader. They're outside of a bar on a snowy night. Their hair is impeccably gelled.

Amanda: Real “we saw you from across the bar and like your vibe” vibes

Sarah: EXTREME levels of those vibes. And you know they’re both surrounded by competing clouds of cologne.

Sneezy: And that’s why book boyfriends are easier. I can happily fall into the safe world of monster porn instead of googling how to scrub out my nasal cavity.

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